AquariusCard: Fight the power!
Color scheme: Amethyst with aqua water waves
Chief feature: PayItForward Club
(Jan. 21-Feb. 19)
Our credit system is broken. The man just gets richer while the working class gets deeper and deeper in debt. But now you can fight the power with AquariusCard, the only credit card that helps pay the bills of those who can’t. With our exclusive PayItForward Club, you designate by ZIP code the fellow cardholders you want to save from the crushing jaws of 29.99 percent default rate poverty. We then credit the amount you choose to their next billing cycle. We didn’t make this system, but together we can fix it with AquariusCard. Apply today and receive triple bonus points toward your next protest march or bail bond.
For fun, click on your Zodiac sign below to read about how a credit card might one day be tailored to your unique astrological make-up. Remember, this is imaginary, not real, so don’t try to apply for it, no matter what the stars say.
Art by Jane Marinsky