Get help ASAP when debt leads to suicidal thoughts

By Erica Sandberg

Opening Credits

Erica Sandberg is a prominent personal finance authority and author of "Expecting Money: The Essential Financial Plan for New and Growing Families." Ask a question. 'Opening Credits' stories

Dear Opening Credits,
I'm 17, and I live in Louisiana. Capital One sent me a credit card offer, and since I'm young and naive, I filled it out. However, instead of my real birthday, I put 1991. The limit on the card is $300. I've racked up a debt of $278 -- $83 of which is my friends' shoes. My parents found out about the card and are trying to fix my screw-up, but I'm scared because I'll be 18 next month. I'm considering running away from home. I thought of suicide, but it isn't that serious. What should I do? I'm sorry that I even filled out the application. I'm scared. Please advise me. -- Colby

Dear Colby,
Debt, no matter how high, is never a reason to end one's life. Virtually all predicaments -- especially those concerning money -- have solutions. And though the options for resolution may not be super-simple or immediately apparent, they exist.

I will get to how to deal with that $300 balance in a moment, but before I do, I would like you to make a vow to rid talk of suicide from casual conversation. Hearing that word puts unimaginable terror and sorrow into the hearts of people who love you. If you care about them -- and I suspect you do because you are worrying so much about how your actions have let others down -- then the last thing you'll want to do is make them afraid you'll do something drastic. However, if you do feel serious about ending your life today or in the future, yes, absolutely tell your close friends and family members. Also call the National Suicide Prevention hotline at (800) 273-TALK. Their wonderful counselors are available 24-7 to speak with you for free and provide you with valuable resources in your area.

What is important right now is to maintain perspective about your situation. Do you know that some of the most famous and wealthiest Americans made bad financial mistakes? It's true. Ever been to Disneyland? Well, before his wildly successful movies and theme park, Walt Disney himself filed for bankruptcy due to a failed business venture. Then there's good old Abraham Lincoln. Even after legally discharging his debt, Honest Abe spent 17 years repaying friends who lent him money. And I could fill pages with all the highly paid athletes and celebrities who mismanaged their millions and then recovered. Keep in mind that everybody, from legendary figures to common folk, mess up but bounce back. As can you.

OK? So, let's talk about your particular problem.

I love that you acknowledge that lying on a credit card application was wrong. Having regrets is positive, as it indicates a strong conscience and well-developed sense of morality. You see, while I can give people tips on ways to properly handle their credit and cash, I can't provide them with an inner drive to do the right thing. Clearly you have that, Colby, and you and your parents should be proud.

Speaking of your mother and father, it sounds as though they are helping you by covering the amount you spent. Great! Now pay them back. You are almost 18 and can get a part-time job. Write a letter to your parents thanking them for their assistance and explain in detail how and when you will repay them. This will be a contract that you must abide by. While they are understandably angry about your recent actions, you can repair your reputation with such a responsible response. 

As for that Capital One card, call the company and close the account. Once you do reach adulthood and are employed, you may begin again with credit honestly and knowledgably. The great thing about making errors on a small scale is that you can learn from them and avoid the larger issues that are more difficult to resolve. For example, now you know not to be overly generous with plastic.

See related: Severe debt can cause depression and thoughts of suicide, Bad financial mistakes by celebrities, 10 worst credit card mistakes, How to cancel a credit card

Erica Sandberg's articles and insight are featured in such publications as the Wall Street Journal, Pregnancy, Babytalk, Redbook, Bank Investment Consultant, Prosper.com, MSNMoney.com, and Smartmoney.com. An active television and radio commentator, Erica is the credit and money management expert for San Francisco’s KRON-TV, a frequent guest on Forbes Video Network, Fox Business News, Businessweek-TV, and all Bay Area networks. Prior to launching her own reporting and consulting business, she was affiliated with Consumer Credit Counseling Services of San Francisco where she counseled individuals, conducted educational workshops, and led the media relations department. Erica is a member of the Society of American Business Editors and Writers, and on the advisory committee for Project Money.

Send your question to Erica.

Published: January 27, 2010

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