Sally Herigstad is a certified public accountant and the author of "Help! I Can't Pay My Bills: Surviving a Financial Crisis" (St. Martin's Press, 2006).
Dear To Her Credit,
I'm going through a messy
divorce where my husband is trying to force me out of the home by not making
the mortgage payments and letting the bank send demand letters for payment. The
bank will start foreclosure in 45 days. Both our names are on the mortgage, so
it is affecting my credit.
I have $59,000 in unsecured debt
that I acquired to hire an attorney. I've been making the payments and had
hoped to be getting child support and spousal support, but that has not
happened yet. I've been advised to move out and obtain my own apartment and
other expenses. I can't afford to continue paying the unsecured debt payment.
What is the worst thing that
could happen for not paying the unsecured debts or the judgment? I want to pay
my debts, but his attorney is keeping him from paying me anything until we go
to court. I cannot file for bankruptcy because we have marital assets tied to
another loan he's trying to get me off. -- Antoinette
Dear Antoinette,
You've spent almost $60,000 for
legal help that hasn't even managed to get you child support or spousal support,
and you are about to lose your home. Your credit is being severely damaged at a
time when you should be establishing it in your own right. I have to wonder, is
your lawyer working for you or for your husband?
You say his attorney is keeping
him from paying you anything. What's your attorney doing -- besides collecting
your money? I'm not a lawyer, but it seems you should have spousal and child
support by now, and probably an advance for your legal fees.
Karin Quirk, a lawyer in
Washington state, agrees. "My first question is, 'Why is she not receiving
child support or spousal support?' In the two states I have practiced, one of
the first things to do is get temporary orders. In addition to child support
and maintenance, you can get an order for attorney fees. It should take less
than two weeks or a month to get such orders."
If your lawyer doesn't have an
explanation for your delay in receiving support, you may need to get a second
opinion. "I am appalled at someone having paid $59,000 in legal fees and
not having temporary orders," says Quirk. "I would suggest a
consultation with another attorney to review your case. Many attorneys provide
a complimentary consultation or do so for a small fee."
You also need to put a cap on
further legal expenses until you know what you are paying and what you can
expect to get in return. Nancy C. Wear, a criminal appellate lawyer in Florida,
recommends the following: "Get a litigation budget from the attorney. Most charge by the
hour and give no estimate as to total cost or what they expect to do, in what
length of time. Clients can and should get an estimate. See if she can afford
this, before she signs on."
"She needs to STOP!"
says Phil Petree, life coach. "Attorneys
will keep the battle inflamed until they have milked every last cent from
unsuspecting clients. This guy will put his child through Harvard while she
spends the next 10 years paying off her debt."
Don't even consider bankruptcy.
The last thing you need to do as you start your new, independent, financial
life is to put yourself through the trauma of going bankrupt. Defaulting on
your debt payments is not a good option either. You can't afford the hit to
your credit history -- or the stress of collection efforts by your creditors.
For your sake and the sake of your children, you must find a way to get the
financial support you deserve from your husband.
Your husband's plan to starve
you out of the house and drag out the divorce will quickly backfire when he is
paying temporary support and for both his and your legal fees. Quirk says, "All
of us have stories of couples spending hundreds to fight over the toaster oven.
Ninety-five percent or more of all cases settle at some point. A good
settlement mediator can help both parties come to a reasonable resolution."
Perhaps the divorce will suddenly get less "messy" when your husband
has motivation to agree to a fair and equitable settlement.
Sally Herigstad answers questions about credit every week for CreditCards.com. Herigstad is a certified public accountant, author and speaker. She also writes regularly for MSN Money, Interest.com, Bankrate.com and RedPlum.com, and has been a guest on Martha Stewart radio and other programs. You can read more about personal finance and download free budgeting worksheets at her website: www.sallyherigstad.com
To Her Credit answers a question about a debt or credit issue from a CreditCards.com reader each week.
Send your question to Sally.
Published: July 3, 2009
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